Life

I am writing this with a heavy heart. My cousin Daniel took his own life on Sunday. At this point in time I cannot seem to wrap my mind around it. I loved him and I am heart broken. He had a lot of mental and physical issues but we thought he was dealing with them well. I am sad and angry all at the same time. How could he do this? The worst part of it all is that my aunt found him. He had driven to his favorite spot at the lake and never came home. She went searching and found him. She found him. She found her child. She is such a strong woman. She has had a lot of tradgedy. She lost another son in a car accident several years ago. I couldn't imagine being her. I don't know if I could do it.

My Dad is suffering. They were very close. He called my Dad Thursday to tell him that he had been spending alot of time with God and the Bible. He thought that he could turn his life around and be a better person. Little did my Dad know he was just saying goodbye. My Dad thinks that he should have seen it. He wished that he would have known. It didn't help that this happened on my Dad's birthday. After talking with my cousin Sarah, she is right. He was speaking in future-tense. My Dad was the last person he called besides caonversing with my Aunt Christie at home. I believe that he has been forgiven and that he is with God. I wish that I could just talk to him one last time. I love you Daniel. You will always be in my heart.

So, please keep my family and I in your prayers. We are leaving tomorrow for Oklahoma. I think that it is hard now, wait until I see my family and the ones who were the closest to him. My heart is going to shatter.

Daniel Scott Lanier (September 23, 1979 - April 5, 2009)