Justified Dreamer

One more thing!

2009-09-24T14:21:00.001-07:00

I forgot to mention that the September 21st (the day before mine) was Daniel's birthday. He would have been 30. So here's to you Daniel... HAPPY BIRTHDAY! WE LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU DEARLY!

Its been awhile!

2009-09-24T14:02:00.000-07:00

It has been a long time since I have written! Just a couple of exciting things to write about...

First, I have struggled with dieting and gaining weight for so long now. I never thought of myself as huge but my self image and confidence hung around the floor. It was starting to effect my relationship and such so it was time for a change. I have officially lost 18 pounds! since July 1. It was slow and at first I was expecting to see higher numbers dropping but I had to keep telling myself to relax. 1 pound is 1 pound that is gone. I was at 20lbs but because of my bday....yeah well no excuse...I gained 2. oh well. I feel great! I started going to the gym doing running intervals and strength/resistance training. I also started eating every 2.5-3 hours. I was having to force myself to swallow the food I was shoving down my throat because I was absolutely NOT hungry. I also have been light on the carbs, almost NO sugary-sweets (my weakness of all time) and protien at EVERY meal, snacks included. SO, it worked. I have finally gotten myself into a routine that I feel comfortable with and I dont feel so deprived! YAY!

Second, on Friday, tomorrow, Jd and I are headed on a Caribbean Cruise! We are going with the Schaubschlager bunch and cannot wait to relax and have a fantastic time! My brother-in-law and his girlfriend Natalie (I cannot imagine having anyone else become my SIL someday BTW.) house sit and dong sit for us. SO, last night I stayed up until 12:30-1 am cleaning and doing laundry and such so tonight I dont have to do anything but pack! Speacking of packing, how on earth I am going to get everything I want to take in the suitcase and zipped I have no clue! Ahhh! Oh well, I will have to be creative!

Third, I LOVE THE FALL! Not to mention my Bday is the first day of autumn. I guess it is in my blood right!? I love the colors and the decor! As I was cleaning my house last night I, of course, had to retrieve some of my fall decorations for display!

Randomness and such

2009-05-22T07:28:00.000-07:00

Well, my life has been so exciting these last couple of weeks, I have had nothing to write about ;) Just teasing, I have just been to lazy! Couple of things were exciting though. Jd's birthday was May 6th. We celebrated on the 9th with a Keystone birthday party, along with Matt whose birthday was on May 2nd. We decorated everything with beer cans. I am assuming everyone had fun. I sure did. I had so much fun I couldn't even move my head from the pillow until noon then slept next to my throne until 5pm. I will post pictures soon.

Natalie and I both agree that it was the tequila since this same thing happened in Mexico. The only difference was I was throwing up in the Puerto Vallarta Airport as a little Mexican lady was scrubbing the toilet next to me. So no tequila until further notice.

We also got a new puppy Mollie. She is so adorable, as well as, rambunctious, a great chewer, sweet sleeper, destructive and she loves to try to dig her way to china in the middle of the lawn. But other than that she is a good puppy! She is only 11 weeks and she loves to play fetch and has already learned sit, and down, and a partial roll-over though her attention span is about 1 minute long. When we first got her Mattie, our spoiled 5 year old dog, hated her. She would growl and nip at her and didn't want anything to do with her. Until recently that is. They have now become quite the tag team. They wrestle, and bark at each other. Mattie, who didn't want anything to do with dog toys, now loves them. The other evening, I looked out the window and Mattie was laying down holding a dog rope while Mollie was trying to pull it away. It was quite humorous.

I haven't had much computer time lately so if any of you are wondering if I have fallen off the earth I haven't. I have just been so busy with work and other things going on. But, this fabulous three day weekend has arrived as of 4pm this afternoon so I should be able to catch up!!! Yay!

Wow, what a crazy three weeks.

2009-04-17T11:38:00.000-07:00

Well, the last post I wrote was very depressing and I apologize for that. But that is exactly how I was feeling at the time. Since then I have been to Oklahoma and back and had the chance to visit my family and reminisce about things past. The services for Daniel were beautiful. The service was the most meaningful, heartfelt, personal service that I had ever witnessed. It really brought closure to Daniels death. It really doesn't take away the heartache, but at the same time as my Aunt Christie (Daniels mom, and the strongest woman alive) said, "You can't wish someone out of heaven." A lot of people, even during these tragic times has reminded me that people who take their own lives do not go to heaven. I think that under these circumstances, which his suicide was not out of hate, he did go to heaven. He wanted to be with God. He had suffered so much and with his final note which read "The Lord is my rock, my fortress, my deliverer, in whom I take refuge..." Psalm 18:2, Daniel did go to heaven.

On another note, I was very excited to meet my niece Rhiannon. She is absolutely adorable. I think that she looks a lot like my sister and a little like Chris her husband. I think that we connected right away. I already miss her. I enjoyed the 3 days that we had and wished that we had more time. But duty calls. I also spent some time with my cousin Sarah and her family along with many others whom I wished that I was closer to.

Now, the recovery has begun! I left for Laughlin on April 1st got back on Sunday the 5th, flew to Oklahoma on Wednesday the 8th, returned from Oklahoma Sunday the 12th and now here I am recovering from the 24hr flu. I think that my body was punishing me for not getting any rest at all. But I don't have any plans for this weekend (the first time in 3 weekends) and think that I am just going to relax.

Also, thank you to all of you who called, wrote and send cards. You really don't know how much that meant to me. I love you all and am lucky to call you friends.

Life

2009-04-07T15:40:00.000-07:00

I am writing this with a heavy heart. My cousin Daniel took his own life on Sunday. At this point in time I cannot seem to wrap my mind around it. I loved him and I am heart broken. He had a lot of mental and physical issues but we thought he was dealing with them well. I am sad and angry all at the same time. How could he do this? The worst part of it all is that my aunt found him. He had driven to his favorite spot at the lake and never came home. She went searching and found him. She found him. She found her child. She is such a strong woman. She has had a lot of tradgedy. She lost another son in a car accident several years ago. I couldn't imagine being her. I don't know if I could do it.

My Dad is suffering. They were very close. He called my Dad Thursday to tell him that he had been spending alot of time with God and the Bible. He thought that he could turn his life around and be a better person. Little did my Dad know he was just saying goodbye. My Dad thinks that he should have seen it. He wished that he would have known. It didn't help that this happened on my Dad's birthday. After talking with my cousin Sarah, she is right. He was speaking in future-tense. My Dad was the last person he called besides caonversing with my Aunt Christie at home. I believe that he has been forgiven and that he is with God. I wish that I could just talk to him one last time. I love you Daniel. You will always be in my heart.

So, please keep my family and I in your prayers. We are leaving tomorrow for Oklahoma. I think that it is hard now, wait until I see my family and the ones who were the closest to him. My heart is going to shatter.

Daniel Scott Lanier (September 23, 1979 - April 5, 2009)

Laughlin here we come!

2009-03-31T08:12:00.000-07:00

Today is Ceasar Chavez Day. Ceasar Chavez stood up for fieldworker rights. Kids are not in school and government offices are closed (obviously). Since I work for the Department of Agriculture, my most recent adventure has been inspecting Iceberg lettuce when it is harvested in the fields before you purchase it in retail. The thing that I find the most interesting is that as I sit here at home, the fieldworkers who were represnted by Mr. Ceasar Chavez, are not taking the day off. Trust me on that one. That is who I have been working with since last Monday. Seems pretty lame to me.

We are going to a team penning in Laughlin for 4 days. I am very excited. The ride there and back should be interesting. I normally pass out as soon as we get on the freeway. But this year we are taking a girl who pens with us. Don't worry she doesn't have internet. She talks ALOT. We took her last year she talked the WHOLE 6 hours there and back. I love conversation but after the first 1.5 my ears get tired and my mind tends to wander. I feel a migraine coming on. Heather, the code word is headache. Remember that! We are taking our radios and I will let you listen to everything. Just teasing, I will only envy your peace.

Finally, my first blog and text all on one day!

2009-03-30T19:25:00.000-07:00

Ladies and Gentlemen, please welcome ME to the 21st century!

Yes, I do have a myspace, or myspot as Jd calls it, that I check about 1-2x a month. Yes, I do have facebook too that I have consistantly checked about once every 6 months. So I am "in" right. NOT. I have, in one day, sent my first text message and started my first blog!

Texting: Wow, what a chore. How do you people do it? I am 25 and type as if I were 50 and have never typed a day in my life. Second, I tried to send people messages letting them know that I had offically crawled out from under the "No, I don't have text messaging" rock, and after the 10th error message I finally figured out that you had to have a 10 digit number to send a text. Amazing! I give all of you props who replied with short paragraphs within a half a second. Don't expect to hear from me within the hour. :)

Blogging: Not as exciting making one as it is reading other's life adventures. I had no idea what a widget was. I had to google "making a blog" to figure it out! But once I figured it out, I have enjoyed playing with it. I will write about the most interesting things that I can come up with...LOL.